Let’s talk about our feelings

Yes, let’s talk about our feelings, shall we?

Human mind and emotion is very interesting. And I just found out that people can invest almost all of their happiness to a single thing or person.

Honestly … It is such a new concept for me. All this long, I feel like I have tons of reasons to be happy, as much as I have tons of other reasons that make me sad. For me, human emotion is affected by countless variables in life, so the idea of our life being crushed down just because of one particular reason baffles me.

For example, I might be sad if I score badly in tests, heck I might even cry myself to sleep because of it. But even then, I’ll smile again after some time, maybe after a talk with my parents, maybe after joking around with my friends, or simply after browsing cute kitten videos on the internet (you should definitely try this!).

When I think about it, I can say that to this day, I’ve never had a huge traumatic event that left an eternal scar in my mind. I can be sad for days or even weeks but I am not sad all those 24 hours, you know? Maybe I have this occasional little pang in my heart whenever something reminds me of my current problems, but it is easily brushed off by a good meal or an entertaining book. To sum it up, I recognize that I have fears, worries, and my life is far from perfect but I’ve learnt to deal with it and accepted all those flaws as, well yeah, part of my existence.

But several people have come to my life, and I witness with my own eyes that not everyone is as fortunate as I am.

Apparently, some people don’t easily find happiness. They might seem cheerful and all smiley from the outside but when they are alone, scary thoughts come to them in many forms. Some days are just too hard for them, they don’t have any will to do anything, even for a shower. A gloomy cloud of sadness loom above them uninvited. They suddenly feel helpless, feel like something is lacking in their life but they can’t really grasp what it actually is. Their mood is spiralling downward for no reason. They just don’t see life as something exciting anymore.

That, my friends, is something people with depression might feel everyday.

I am not saying that that description is precisely the same for everyone going through depression because I know it’s uniquely different for each person. What I’m saying is, there exists a condition where people’s mind and emotion don’t work the same way as they used to be. A condition where receiving encouragement (which normal people usually give as a way to lift up other’s spirit) worsen your condition instead of making it better.

There are chances that these people find happiness in something else. Be it a hobby or a person. Often times, they can love someone deeply because that person is able to make them happy. But problem arises when the person they love disappoint them, or is gone. It’ll feel like the world crumbles and they’ll lose their source of happiness, even their reason to life. Why? Because they have invested all of their emotion to that particular person. Then again, I’m not speaking about all cases of depression, but some are rooted from this.

This is real, this is not some fiction and this is a clinical condition that doctors and health practitioners all over the world have come to recognize.

But despite all of those proven medical reports, it’s still difficult for some of us to REALLY accept its existence, right?

“Why are you always sad? Why aren’t you just… Making yourself happy?”

“Everything is going to be okay, why are you worrying about something that will never happen?”

“You just need to pray to Him more.”

Okay, that last sentence is far too common. People with mental health problems often times are told to get closer to Him. Is it wrong? No, of course not. I too believe that Allah is the only one capable of changing our hearts, so praying to Him to lift our burden in mind is the right thing to do. But is it the only thing we need to say to these people currently searching for help? The answer is loud and clear: no, it is not.

Imagine if someone you care about is going through something like that. What will you do?

First of all, not everyone has amazing support system back in their home. I consider myself very blessed because I have my parents, family, and closest circle of friends that are always right here if I need them. The harsh reality is, some people are growing up lonely. Some others have their parents with them all their life but a mere presence isn’t always equal to understanding, care and love.

They need us. They need support. Support doesn’t need to be in a form of advice. You just need to be there. Giving a silent reassurance.

Talking about that “You should pray more” phrase, actually spiritual activity indeed help. But the thing is, seeking for professional assistance does help a lot too.

Let’s think this way.

We pray to Allah for Him to grant us understanding in lessons and ease our study. But we still study hard to get the best result.

We believe that Allah has prepared rizq for every living being on this earth, yet we still work to fulfill our daily needs.

We know that Allah can cure all diseases, despite that we still seek for medical assistance.

Why is it different with mental health? Nurturing our closeness to Him and getting medical help, both should be done and both can coexist.

If you ever want to lend a hand to these people, you have to know that it’s not going to be easy. People have ups and downs in their daily life and sometimes, dealing with this kind of things drain yourself. Yap, that’s right. We might want to help others but there is a huge chance we will be suffocated too. You can stumble upon things that trigger yourself and it’s not going to be great.

But I tell you, as long as you are aware of your own mental condition and know your boundary, helping others is such a rewarding experience. Be there for them, literally. Crossing borders and spending time together. Making their health one of your top priority, of course without sacrificing yours. Remember that saving one person is equal to saving an entire humanity. Remember that everyone, whoever it is, will contribute something to human race, whether it is discovering a breakthrough technology later in life or as simple as makes other people smile. So every life DOES matter, and your effort to preserve one life is as important.

After all, the person I’m trying to help and I, both of us learn new things along the way. I am so happy knowing that this person reached a conclusion that she/he, if given a chance to turn back time, won’t think of changing what she/he has been through. With that experience, however bad it has got, she/he knows her/himself more as the result and she/he is forever grateful for that.

My dear friends, whether you need help or are trying to help, please know that mental health problems are not a myth and should be taken as seriously as physical problems. So … Let’s talk about our feelings freely, shall we?

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